I'm on medication. It's for a skin disease kind of thing. Doesn't seem to be helping much, I don't quite trust my doctor anymore. I find out on Monday what the lab has to say about the sample the doctor sent away. I got proactive (with the help of my second mum), but not the Vanessa Williams infomercial acne cream. I bought something topical and stuff for what I thought the problem was. It's early days but I think it's helping. The rash is in most places. Predominantly on my face and neck, but semi-large scabby things have formed on my arms and legs too. It makes me insecure. On my cheeks I struggle to feel normal skin, my forehead's almost the same. I wear collared shirts and hooded jumpers to conceal my neck as best as possible, and shorts are pretty much out of the question. It makes me angry.
I'm not sure how it started and I hate that it's just come from nowhere. I've had to work the last three days in a row and I see the way people look at me when I serve them and don't like it much. But that's when I'm in a negative mood about it. Now I'm learning to be positive about the situation. Putting it into perspective, it's not such a big deal. So what if I get looks, what does it really matter? I'm not gonna let something small like this stop me from living and doing the things I normally do. I think this is going to be good for me. Whilst it's going away slowly, I think I'll have it for a little while yet, and it might teach me a lesson about appearance and confidence. For me the two may have been a little too closely related. So I'll end this now on a high note before my volatile mood makes me slightly depressed about it again... Good can come from this. As long as I'm smiling it doesn't matter what I look like.
Until you see me next, you've been warned so don't recoil upon the visage of my face and stuff. :P
Dale.
6 comments:
Yep, I think look on the bright side - it's not permanent and perhaps perfect insight for some future story you'll write about someone who feels ostracised (yes I had to use spell check for that word - want to make something of it punk?) because of the way that they look. So it's a good thing.* And hey, it's already inspired some writing.
*I maintain the right to be mopey and annoyed if I ever get a similar skin disease though.
yeah, ur lucky its not permanent.
my dad has psoriasis, and its everywhere.
and its permanent.
and genetic, so my sister has it too.
so ur really lucky.
good luck though, hopefully u don't have leprosy!!! :P
luv jess
Hmm... Does leprosy still exist?
Just wanted to add that I am thankful to everyone whose been supporting me and boosting my confidence. First and foremost Brenton, and then Jess at work, Ian today, and I'd like to say mum but she keeps making a big fuss over me the way mum's do ("oh your poor face" etc etc). Even Luke and Jess through your comments; thank you muchly. :)
I don't think you will learn anything from it. I know you think you should, but i also know you wont. I mean seriously lets face it (pun intended).
There is a deeper message to read into all of this about acceptance and understanding differences, but to be honest i don't think a few scabs gives you the right to be all sanctimonious about the 'plight' you are currently in.
And even if it were permanent its not like the people around you would be going anywhere any time soon. Not all of us are friends with you because of the way you look :P. It would take a fair bit more to scare me off kiddo.
Till next we meet,
Paul
I have to disagree with Paul (Fight! Fight! Fight! :P ) - still think you will/have learnt from the experience.
But I do totally agree with his last paragraph. I mean, you go for the kangaroos and yet we still hang out in public with you. :p
Yeah not to scratch scabs, but that will be the extent of it.
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