"Do you have land?"
We should have been in character.
She looked from Brenton to me.
"No not yet," I responded suppressing laughter.
I guess it was a compliment that she thought we looked like we could be land-owners - that we were of some wealth. Perhaps we had trust funds, or were former child actors, or won big at the casino, in her mind. She was pretty.
"Well then we have some great house & land package deals." She underlined a name in the display home brochure that she wouldn't let us have until she was finished talking. "Larry's the one to talk to about house & land if you have any questions."
I was getting kind of tired of nodding and feigning interest. I wanted to get to the part where I got to imagine myself living in a pretty house all of my own. Cloud bubbles from my mind sprouted a few unlikely scenarios.
One, me trying to snatch the brochure with the pretty pictures but the lady retaining a freakishly strong grip on her end, all the while I'm shouting "give it to me!" and she's snarling back "I haven't told you about the special offers of luxury inclusions yet."
Two, me leaning in close to her and pulling a 20 out of my shirt pocket, being very hush-hush and bribey, only to be slapped because she thought I propositioning her.
Neither of those situations played out because I somehow mustered another "ah, how interesting" nod and she ran out of things to point to/underline in the brochure.
It was an arduous quest but Brenton and I had finally collected all three Porter Davis Collections Catalogues! It was most satisfying.
For what it's worth the houses that had to wait for us because of blonde pretty lady were awesome. The Brampton and... my favourite which I've forgotten the name of but will consult the brochure about later. There was the most ridiculously impractical pool, but it just looked so cool! I foolishly didn't take a picture of it and my describing skills aren't up to scratch right now, but it was pretty much square, above ground with glass walls, too deep to stand up in, but not wide or long enough for anyone to swim in. It was "silly cool", maybe it's the new "shabby chic".
Next time we'll do characters. I wonder how the pretty blonde lady would react if a person in a pink bunny suit hopped along behind Brenton into her little office?
["Do you have land?"
"Nah, but he's got a nice burrow."]
Or if we were wearing "We Steal Stuff From Display Homes If We Get Hassled By Sales Agents" t-shirts. :)
Dale.
3 comments:
I guess large pools are out of fashion now that we don't have any water?
Sounds like fun and so much potential if you create characters. I suggest you try young drug barons. "Oh and look, this room would be perfect for your opium den."
"[...] me trying to snatch the brochure with the pretty pictures but the lady retaining a freakishly strong grip on her end, all the while I'm shouting "give it to me!" and she's snarling back "I haven't told you about the special offers of luxury inclusions yet."
This conjured up the best imagery for me! I'm still laughing as I write this, and people in the office are now frightened of me!
Actually there was a lot of imagery in this one. So I say great post, very entertaining!
Personally, I love going into display homes just so I can guess the first question the real estate agent asks. "Beautiful day out isn't it?" or "Would you like a brochure?" are the usuals, but every now and then you'll get a "Can I perrrrchance interest ye' in some arcane scrolls?!" or "Buy a necklace? A pretty necklace for a pretty lady!"... ok I haven't had the arcane scrolls one yet, but it's gotta come up sooner or later.
Don't worry Dale, one day you'll be wandering through and you will indeed be browsing to buy. ;)
Jimzip :D
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