I clung, I dug in my nails, but that just drove him away. I tried to be normal, to act cool, but it was too late. I couldn’t act in the face of losing what my whole life revolved around. It was too hard. Desperation conquered me.
It was all that whore Debra’s fault. She was the wedge. She should have just stayed away. I warned her plenty. She didn’t listen, so she paid for it.
Then Tommy, the betrayer, gets in my face and hits me. Why couldn’t he see that I needed him more than Debra ever could? That what we had was important. It all got too much. I hit him back. We bled. He could have killed me, he stood over me with a baseball bat. He should have. It would have been an act of mercy. I couldn’t live alone.
I had a... a bro–...
He was important, you know? Everything... Lost. Fuck!
I’d lived with no guilt. Just his bloody clock to remind me–
Now I can’t even look at it. He’d be so ashamed. I didn’t...
I just didn’t.
And I’m not going to. Ever.
Cos this is it.