Stars

The two sat quietly, side by side, on the edge of the porch.

“What are stars for, Daddy?” she asked, gazing up into the unknown.

“I don’t know, honey. But the night sky would look mighty empty without them.” he answered, also gazing at the beautiful sight above them.

“Grandma says that Mummy is up there and that she watches us from a star. Is Mummy really up there, Daddy?” she asked uncertainly.

“I… I believe she is, Sarah.” he responded thoughtfully.

“I miss Mummy. Do you miss Mummy, Daddy?” she questioned, her eyes still on the hundreds of stars above, as if trying to figure out which one her mum was perched on.

“I sure do honey, an awful lot.” he sighed. “Come here, Sarah, Daddy needs a hug.”

“Okay.”

She sidled over to him, turned to face his side, and wrapped her arms around him the best she could. He extended his left arm around her and drew her in close; his right hand still clenching his near-empty beer bottle. “Your mother… Mummy, loved you so much, Sarah. You were her little angel. Please… try not to ever forget that okay, honey?” he pleaded, tears welling in his eyes.

She promised she wouldn’t and then asked, “Sing me a song please, Daddy?” while still holding onto his side, her eyes closed.

“Sure thing, Sarah.” He didn’t have to think long before he cleared his throat and began singing in his husky tone:

“When you wish upon a star,

Makes no difference who you are.

When you wish upon a star,

Your dreams come true.”

She opened her eyes after a few seconds and looked up at his face. “Daddy, why are you crying?”

“I guess I… I just miss Mummy a lot, Sarah. Now come on, it’s time for bed.” He put down his beer, stood and picked her up, holding her to his side. He took one last look at the stars again.

“Daddy?” she said, also looking up at the stars.

“Yes, Sarah?” he replied, thinking about how pretty she looked in the moonlight.

She met his eyes. “Don’t forget how much Mummy loved you, too.”

She had such a striking resemblance to her mother at that moment he was convinced something magical had taken place. “As long as you’re around, Sarah, I never will.”

* * *

He lay in what would be his last temporary bed; she sat solemnly next to him in a chair.

“Oh Dad…” she whimpered, clasping his now wrinkled hand. He had almost lost his ongoing battle with time, but was courageously hanging on.

“Don’t be sad, Sarah. I’ve been lucky to have lived as long as I have.” he said between shallow, rasping breaths. He looked at his daughter, and marvelled at what a vibrant, compassionate and strong woman she had become. He clasped her hand tighter; he sensed that he didn’t have much time left to cherish her.

She ran her eyes fondly over him. He was such a great man, such a great father. It broke her heart seeing him here, and seeing him this way. The wires protruding from him, the beeping machines, the dreary surroundings, all did him an injustice. She looked past all of those though, and saw him as she would remember him; her father, her hero, and her greatest inspiration.

She sensed he was about to lose his battle, and tears formed in her eyes. “I love you, Dad. So much. You’ve always been there for me. You’ve taught me so much about everything. You showed me what’s wrong and what’s right; how to live and how to love. You are my greatest inspiration, Dad. I’ve been the luckiest person alive to have you as my father.” Tears were streaming down her face now. “I only hope I can be as great a parent as you, Dad. Mum would be so proud of what you’ve done.” she whispered.

His eyes filled with affection for her. “You make me so proud, Sarah.” he managed to utter before having a violent coughing fit that seemed to shake his entire being. No nurses came, none would. It was accepted that her father had travelled too far down the path of no return.

Suddenly his gaze shifted from her to his window. It was night outside, and the sky was generously decorated with more stars than she had ever seen before. He smiled, remembering a magical night a long time ago. “Which one should I choose?” he half asked himself, half his daughter.

“One next to Mum.” she answered after a short pause.

Still holding her hand tightly, he closed his eyes. “Sing me a song, Sarah.”

She could feel torrents of sadness rising up from deep within her, but she managed to hold herself together, for his sake.

“Twinkle, twinkle, little star,

How I wonder what you are.

Up above the world so high,

Like a diamond in the sky…”

He started coughing violently again, but he still held her hand tight. “Keep… going…” he begged. She couldn’t fight the sadness for much longer.

“Twinkle, twinkle little star,”

She sobbed, tears gushing from her eyes. She could feel his grip weakening.

“How I wonder… what you are.”

He was gone. She bowed her head and cried until she couldn’t anymore.

Unsteadily, she got to her feet. She looked down at him, then up at the stars. After a while, she kissed his forehead and then left the hospital. Once outside, she gazed up at the stars again…