The Lies

I needed to do this post before I could do any others. I'll still try to do Famous as a big fancy all the bells and whistles type job, but my memory of it is not so fresh now (and wasn't so fresh on Sunday morning to be honest!).

I lie a lot. Mostly to my parents. And the majority of the time I feel bad about it. I can try to justify it by claiming that what I'm doing isn't really harmful or dangerous to me, but lying in itself is dangerous. It has the potential to ruin relationships because of feelings of mistrust and betrayal. People would wonder whether I've been honest with them about anything that I've ever said.

Unfortunately I also lie to my friends. Well, not so much lie as constantly hide the truth or omit/fabricate certain details. I hate that I do, but I just get scared sometimes that people won't understand.

I guess that's the main reason I do do it; fear. But fear of what I'm not exactly sure. Fear of rejection? Fear of disapproval? Fear of... loss? I guess those three are all factors that influence my lying ways. I don't want things to change too much, because I haven't changed.. I'm still me. The same person I always have been. And nothing I say should change how I am perceived as a person.

I'm not sure how this post is going to be interpretted, but I guess that's the point. I plan to stop lying soon - to myself and to everyone else - so I guess in time this will all make sense.

I'm sorry if I've lied to you, or hidden the truth from you, and I'm not going to make excuses. I did it because it was easier for me, and because I'm a big whuss sometimes.

So until I see you next, don't lie. It's very, very bad and unhealthy.

Dale.