A Mostly Merry Message...

To Mum, Dad, Mark, Fairlie, Grandma, Granny, Grandad, Uncle Graeme, Aunty Deb, Lauren, Sean, Uncle David, Daniel, Paul, Simon, Jack, Aunty Marg, Tanya, Chris, Samantha, Buddy & Holly;

My love.
You’re always in my heart.

To Paul, Kiel, Adam, Andy, Luke, Kate, Ian, Jamie, Steve, Hadley, Praveen, Luke, Matt, Daniel, Daniel, Simon, Owen & Karl;

My thanks.
Your friendship means the world to me.

My thoughts are especially with you and your family Kiel. I hope you manage to make the most of Christmas despite the awful accident yesterday. As ill-timed as it was, I’m sure it will bring you all closer together. I’m incredibly thankful that things didn’t turn out worse, because you are my oldest friend. I want to be writing about your great successes and accomplishments in life when I’m writing your biography, remember? So please do your best to avoid life-threatening situations in the future!

Merry Christmas to you all, and to everyone else whose name may also be mentioned next Christmas.


Yours jingly,

Dale.

P.S. 50 posts! Woo!

Being Me. (I'd like to thank God...)

I’ve got things pretty good at the moment; I finally have a job, I’ve got a new relationship that I’m excited about, I’ve realised just how good and dependable most of my friends are, I’m heading in the right direction again with a change of uni course next year, and it’s Christmas time which means lots of presents for Daley from Santy Claus.

I’m also feeling a lot better. I think I’ve intermittently had a bit of a negative view of myself since around the time high school started. I’m not exactly sure why the start of high school brought with it a change in the way I perceived myself. Maybe it just coincided with being a teenager and developing insecurities as teenagers do; riding that confusing rollercoaster of emotions. Either way, I feel like I’m slowly shrugging off a cumbersome, restrictive cape of negativity (don’t ask me why it’s a cape... I’m not good at metaphors!) and am emerging not anew but afresh with a more positive outlook on myself and what I have to offer the world.

This year’s events, despite being turbulent, have opened my eyes. The source of my increasing levels of self-efficacy (hehe, big word) has been the people in my life. Some are old characters, others are new, some I got to know really well, others only for a moment, but all were important. They all played a role in helping me to realise that I am an interesting, likeable person with the potential to achieve my goals and get what I want from life. Being me has never felt so good. And I owe it to these people who over the past year have taught me (in their different ways) that I’m cool (in my own way). :)

So thank you to everyone I’m thinking of. I won’t list names because I’ll inevitably leave someone out by accident! (This is sounding more and more like an acceptance speech at the Oscars – although I didn’t thank God or Jesus which is standard procedure these days I think, unless you’re Tom Cruise. God forbid he wins another award. Oh looky, I did mention God after all). Long brackets aside, I’m sincerely grateful. I guess your reward is seeing the outcome of your assistance and experiencing a more confident and happy me. :)

That said, here’s a sad poem I wrote the other day:

It’s 9 days before Christmas and all I can see,
Is my uncertain future staring back at me.
My life lacks direction and my motivation is flimsy,
All I have is my pen and several notions of whimsy.

I feel I need to be told ‘cause I can’t figure it out,
What my path, my journey, this life is about.
They say “life is what you make it” but I disagree,
I am the creation of what life has made of me.

So because I’m not whole does that mean I’ve missed out?
Or must I wait for the missing piece of inner peace, I shout;
To the ends of the earth, to heaven, to the skies,
Answer my cries, and to that piece alert my weary eyes.

Completely out of place and contradictory I know, but strangely that’s not the way that I was feeling when I wrote it. I think it’s a good sign that I can distance myself from my actual feelings and ‘feel’ whatever emotion I want, in terms of becoming a writer. Either that or I’m a nutcase. :)

Dale.

What next?

I’d like to start by thanking you for all the recent comments, especially on Intolerance of Intolerance. It got a much stronger reaction than I expected. I even received emails from people expressing their opinion and not wanting to seem too long-winded in public. Thanks again for taking the time to read it.

Also… my first shift at McDonalds is in 2 hours!

Now moving on to this blog entry.

Although I had no intention of using Intolerance of Intolerance for self-promotion, I don’t think there’s any other way of interpreting this particular post. Sure enough I’ll probably be cut down by a reliable friend who likes to make sure I stay grounded (you know who you are), but today I feel like tooting my own horn, so I will!

Having said that, if you’re expecting insight or social commentary along the lines of my last posts, I wouldn’t go getting your hopes up too high... :)

Dale – Pigeon Rescuer:

Long story short I was on my way to bring the recently emptied bins in (for which I have to go through the garage), but two pigeons became trapped in the netting that we have to keep birds out of the garage, from the inside. I don’t know how they got in in the first place, but boy did they tangle themselves up nice and good. Every time I approached them to try and untangle the netting they’d flap around vigorously and become even more entangled in the meshy black wire netting. Sadly, one of them appeared to have a broken leg, because it was twisted at such an extreme angle. I looked in its eyes and could see so much pain and fear, so I stumbled inside, got out the shotgun that dad keeps for emergencies, and… Nah I’m joking. :) I went inside to get some scissors, came back and did some careful and strategic snipping, leaving the pigeons both giant holes to escape through. But they didn’t move! I watched them for about two minutes but they remained where they were. For a second I thought they may have been dead, but then more logically (their eyes were still moving) thought that they were probably in shock. So I went inside and retrieved a water pistol from the laundry, filled it up, and with my impressive aim, let loose on the pigeons with an accurate and firm enough spray of cold water. It worked; they came to life almost instantly and flapped their way to freedom. I just hoped that the one with the broken leg would be okay.

Dale – MatchMaker

A few months ago I was at the Hawthorn to celebrate a friend’s birthday. I drank beer that night, and remember thinking “Why am I drinking beer? I hate beer...” Anyway, that’s not relevant! This friend had a lot of friends I didn’t know, and a lot who didn’t know each other, as there were some from his uni, some from his work, some from his school, etc etc. I took a liking to one of his uni friends – he bought me a beer, which was a nice gesture considering he didn’t know me at all, and wasn’t to know that I hate the stuff (and now I remember why I was drinking beer!) – and we made a pretty good team at pool. Some could say we dominated the table. Well, he dominated the table and I was handy every now and then. Anyway-who-how, that’s not really relevant either. It was when he told me that he liked the look of one our friend’s female friends from work that this story begins.

I didn’t really know her well, but she did seem nice, so I told him to go and talk to her, which he did after a few minutes of convincing from me. I watched their interaction play out, and from their respective body languages it seemed to go well. He came back a few minutes later, told me he liked her even more, but hadn’t been confident to suggest that he was interested in her in that way or ask for her number, and that she was leaving now with her friends. Sure enough I looked back and she was headed for the door. It was too late to stop her. So I got to thinking, “How can I help a brother out?” (Apparently I think like a homie), and came to the conclusion that he needed her number. I told him to go to the birthday dude and ask to see his new phone, in which would be her number! It was a good plan I thought, but birthday dude was (although drunk) kind of sceptical of him and his motives. And it didn’t help that birthday dude also liked the same girl! So unfortunately he couldn’t get into the phonebook because birthday dude was looking over his shoulder and wanted his phone back to take a picture of himself with some other mates. Beer-buying friend returned to me, despondent. But I told him not to worry, that I’d get the number by the end of the night. Birthday dude trusted me a lot more, and I was feeling crafty.

So about 30 minutes later I approached birthday dude, asked to see his cool new phone, pretended to look at things through the camera on it whilst actually going into his phonebook and memorising the girl’s number, gave the phone back to birthday dude, quickly entered it into my phone, then returned triumphant to beer-buying friend. I lived up to the 007 part of my email address that night.

Anyway, I go to another one of birthday dude’s parties recently, and who’s there? Beer-buying, pool-teaming friend and beer-buying, pool-teaming friend’s girl that he liked! And who’s together as a couple? They are! Apparently after that night they’d started corresponding but then she’d got glandular fever for two months and things went a bit quiet between them. But when she got better they started talking again and hey presto! They really liked each other and started a relationship. Both of them were very grateful to me. I just smiled and said that I was happy to be of service. It did feel rewarding though. Knowing that I had such an influence on two people’s lives and their happiness. Felt good. :)

And that’s it for now. Wonder what I’ll be next time? And what other ways I’ll be able to self-promote myself? A spy? A sports star? A modest person?

Dale.

Intolerance of Intolerance - Pt. 4

Then I closed my mouth again, changing my mind. It wasn’t in my nature to speak up in these situations. But then the older lady muttered something about the Fijian woman under her breath and it tipped me over the edge. Screw it, I thought. I knew I wouldn’t be happy with myself if I didn’t stand up for what I believed in.
“She’s right you know,” I say to the older lady and nodding in the direction of the Fijian woman.
The Fijian woman smiled at me - I could tell she was grateful that I had spoken up too. She mouthed a “thank you” at me.
The older lady’s face seemed to twist up in a mixture of shock and rage, her anger re-ignited, “You have no right to speak to me you stupid boy!”

Feeling the brunt of the older lady’s outburst I realised just how strong and brave the Fijian woman had been.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself; I knew I wouldn’t achieve anything if I let my own anger get the better of me. Forcing myself to look at her again, I said, “She has just as much a right to sit where she wants as you do. You’re no more deserving of anything than she is.” I was surprised at how eloquently I spoke considering how mad I was, and all the things that I could have said. And all the things she deserved to be told.
The older lady let loose another barrage of verbal abuse on me. It almost looked as though her tongue was actually that of a snake’s rather than a human’s. I just looked away, trying to ignore her. Nothing I said would get through, and the moment I realised that I felt quite sad.

Suddenly the bus slowed down and pulled onto the side of the road, but not at a bus stop. The bus driver turned around to the older lady and said, “Look, I don’t have to listen to you on this bus okay? So just be quiet.” The way the bus driver spoke to the older lady so abruptly gave me a strange sense of satisfaction. I hadn’t been aware that she’d been watching and listening to what was going on. She called the Asian girl to her and had a brief discussion. I saw her motion to one of the other front seats, offering it to her so that she was further away from the older lady, but she declined and walked back to where she’d been, opposite me.

The bus took off again, and not much else was said by anyone. The older lady indignantly picked up her bags and made a show of placing them on the seat which the Asian girl initially tried to sit in. I hear the girl sitting behind the bus driver, who'd been reading, tell her that the older lady once spat on another passenger.

When the Fijian woman, the Asian girl and I stood up to get off the bus at the station, the older lady looked out the window and said, “Good riddance.” I looked at her in disbelief and pity.

The three of us ended up on the same train carriage too, and the Asian girl who I hadn’t heard speak went over to the Fijian woman and thanked her, then looked at me and nodded a “thanks” too.

Whilst I was happy that I’d spoken up, for most of the train ride I felt a mixture of feelings. Part of me felt ashamed that a member of my community could be so ignorant, part of me felt depressed that that level of intolerance still existed, and another part of me felt naïve for not realising that racism and elitism were still so prominent in society.
Luckily I had a great afternoon, but even the high from that wasn’t enough to stop me from not sleeping very well that night.

I realised in the morning though, that I did the right thing, and I felt proud of myself. I was also reassured and inspired by knowing that people like the Fijian woman are out there doing the right thing. I decided that next time I won’t hesitate to speak up.

Intolerance of Intolerance - Pt. 3

“Oh no, don’t you sit there, girl,” the older lady warns, looking at her sternly. It wasn’t hard to pick up on the nastiness in her voice. Confused and a little surprised, the girl turns around and heads for a seat opposite me, almost falling over on her way as the bus lurched forwards again.

I began to wonder if there was some underlying reason behind her warding off of the girl, when the Fijian woman, who had also been watching the event unfold before her, turns to the older lady and asked, “Lady, why can’t she sit there?”
The older lady looks at her incredulously, as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing, “Excuse me? Don’t you go talking to me like that!” she snaps, an ugly angry look on her face.
The Fijian lady doesn’t take too kindly to this and repeats her question, except not so politely this time, “All I want to know is why can’t she sit next to you?” she says, whilst pointing in the direction of the Asian girl who was now looking very embarrassed.
The older lady’s eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her head, “What’s it to you?” she spat. “I’m an Australian.”

I couldn’t believe it. With those three words my suspicions were confirmed.

“Because I believe in justice,” the Fijian woman continued, seemingly undeterred by the older lady’s now apparent racism. “She is allowed to sit wherever she wants.”
“Shut up!” the older lady barked, turning away from her, and looking at me. She grins, and I feel sick to my stomach. I could tell she probably thought that because I’m white we share a special bond and that I agree with her.
I shake my head and look away. The lady disgusted me.

The Fijian woman wasn’t finished with her yet, and I was cheering her on in my head. “You should be wise, not nasty,” she proclaimed. A wise statement I thought.
The older lady whipped her head back in her direction, “I said shut up! I’m sick, and there were plenty of other seats, why did she -” she stabbed the air with a crooked finger in the direction of the Asian girl, “- have to sit next to me? I’ve lived in this country all my life!”

The rage was building up inside of me. I couldn’t take it much longer. Never before had I felt such anger towards someone I didn’t know. There were no excuses for what she was saying. I took a breath, looked at the Fijian lady who was still defiantly holding her ground, and then turned to the older lady and opened my mouth...

Intolerance of Intolerance - Pt. 2

I move from one side of the bus to the other, because the side I chose originally was drenched with sunlight. Thankfully the bus is air conditioned. I’m sitting in one of the seats that run along the side of the bus, facing inwards rather than forwards. A girl a bit younger than me is sitting right behind the bus driver, reading something. An older lady is sitting to my right in one of the first forward facing seats; her bag placed before her on the last inward facing seat, three seats along from me. Across from her is another lady who looks like she is from Fiji or some pacific island nation, she smiles at me and I smile back. I notice that the bus driver is a woman also, and that she keeps fiddling with a little fan pointed directly at her face. There are a few other passengers sitting towards the back of the bus, but I don’t pay much attention to them. I’m more concerned about the bus making it to the station in time, and getting my body temperature down from heat stroke level. The bus travels along for a minute or so before slowing down near the High Street Road shops to pick up some more sweaty travellers. A few people jump on the bus. Last of all is an Asian girl who looks about my age. The bus suddenly takes off again before she has time to look for a seat, so she heads towards the nearest one in the direction that her momentum is taking her; the seat next to the older lady with the bag...

Intolerance of Intolerance - Pt. 1

Sunday, 42 degrees, and I’m supposed to go meet up with someone in the city. Don’t have a car at my disposal, so I need to catch a bus to the station. The right bus stop is about a 20 minute walk from my house. I have 18 minutes to get there before I’m too late. I step out into the sweltering heat. Straight away a blast of hot air hits me in the face. “This is gonna be fun,” I say to myself. I begin walking quickly, jogging for a little every now and then to make up the 2 minutes. After about 5 minutes I knew my face was red, and my shirt was starting to cling to my body. I pressed on, hoping that a familiar face would drive past, recognise me, and give me a lift to the bus stop. But I had no such luck. I make it to the bus stop with a minute to spare. Relieved, I sit down and feel happy that I don't smell too bad. The bus comes; I validate my ticket, take a seat and look around. Not too many people on the bus. I thought I was in for an uneventful 15 minute trip to the station. Boy was I wrong.

Daley News Star: Paul!

I've known Paul since Year 10 when I moved to Knox, although admittedly I didn't get to know him that well until some stage during Year 12. It was the best of days; it was the blurst of days... Haha, nah I can’t remember the exact day that I realised that he was actually someone I could see myself getting along well with, but I guess that’s really not that important. Before that day I saw him as some kind of insanely (and annoyingly) good poker player. Although he was not quite so good at 8-square... Guess you can’t have the best of both worlds of recreational lunch time activities. :)

Anyway, our English class was the medium that helped a friendship develop. I found that what he lacked in spelling and grammar, he made up for in insight, and in his ability to get to the crux of an issue or theme to come up with an astonishingly meaningful and poignant response. He challenged me to think differently, and being the uber-competitive person that I am, made me strive to do even better – so I could beat him! But as the year progressed we more frequently sat next to each other, and not just because I wanted to learn from his viewpoints, but because I’d come to quite enjoy his company.

It’s no secret that I’m a shy person. In fact, anyone who says that I’m not probably doesn’t really know me at all. Anyway, every now and then I come across a person who I feel completely comfortable around, who I can just be myself with and open up a little more than I normally would. Paul is definitely one of those people. Sometimes I think I’m more myself when I’m with Paul than I am with anyone else. I’m not exactly sure why this is, but I think he just gets me. He understands that I’m not always going to be bucket-loads of fun or brimming with conversation, and I think knowing that helps me to relax and makes me feel like I don’t have to watch what I say, or worry that he might think I’m a dag for saying it. Although I’m pretty sure he already does think I’m quite a tool! He puts up with my toolishness, but I deservingly cop a fair bit of flack for it from him. One day I’ll come up with a decent comeback Paul, one day! :)

So in summary, Paul:

• Sends very long text messages.
• Is a very caring person (behind the sarcasm).
• Is very witty, especially when compared to me.
• Slaves away at Kmart for now, but is bound for much bigger & better things in his future.
• Will hopefully let me mooch off him when he’s become rich from his amazing future!
• Understands me, and makes me feel good about myself.
• Is a much better friend to me than I am to him (I’m working on it)
• Needs to show me how he cheats at poker. :P
• Will hopefully pretend to like the present I get him for his birthday – which is today!
• Has a very large... vocabulary.
• And is one of, if not, my very best friends.
  

Happy birthday Paul, you deserve to have a fantastical (wow... spellcheck agrees with fantastical, yet not with ‘spellcheck’...) day. Don’t worry, Paul will forgive me for ruining a nice sentiment with a stupid little sidenote, because that’s the kind of person he is!

*claps*

Dale.

Argh! Head down, bum up...

After getting a big, fat, doughy ‘No!’ from the people at Krispy Kreme this afternoon, I became a little despondent.

I would really like to know what’s making me so unattractive to potential employers. I’ve been trying for a while now and it’s just been rejection after rejection after rejection. It’s pissing me off, and it’s not making me feel all that good about myself either. It’s just a part-time job I’m after, yet everywhere I apply they don’t want me. They don’t want the person that I am to represent their business.

This is starting to make me think that there’s something wrong with me, and is resulting in pessimistic feelings about my future. Maybe I just need to look in different places. Maybe I need to try and work on improving myself and my shortcomings. Maybe I need to get some perspective.

Maybe I should just shut up, keep trying, and stop being a sook!

Well I did get something out of today… a free donut! :)

Survival, Daggers, Antarctica, Prose & Donuts.

We made it! My brother and I survived 3 parentless days. I think we fared reasonably well for ourselves too.

• The house isn't a mess,
  
• We don't appear dishevelled, dirty, or malnourished,
  
• The car still goes,
  
• The birds are still alive,
  
• And there are no blood or vomit stains on the carpet.

We even managed to cook for ourselves! I know, I was slightly alarmed at the idea of myself and my brother being around kitchen appliances unsupervised too, but thankfully it all turned out ok. I found it quite amusing how as soon as mum got home she carried out a quick inspection of everything trying to be surreptitious. Good on ya mum. :) They enjoyed their little getaway and ate more takeaway than we did! Now THAT is weird.

Our Saturday was actually pretty tame. We just hung around playing playstation and nintendo, and I forced him to study a little for his (year 11) exams, before driving him to basketball at about 5.30. He finished at 6.30 so I waited the hour for him in the carpark, reading one of mum's books that I hurriedly grabbed off the shelf before we ran out the door. It was one of those period books about people in the early 20th century. Wasn't the most captivating read I've ever had, but it did the job. Unfortunately his team lost (18-20) but he got over it. We swung by Video Ezy on the way home and picked up two dvds to watch after dinner. Cooking dinner was uneventful - I even left Mark to do most of it himself when I got a phone call - the end product tasted pretty damn good and didn't result in food poisoning. Score! :)

The dvds we got were The Ringer and House of Flying Daggers. Hmm... Can you guess who chose what? We watched The Ringer together and it was actually pretty decent. It was light, funny and not as distasteful as I thought it would be (since Johnny Knoxville was in it, and it's about scamming the special olympics!). When it finished we proceeded to eating a lot of ice cream and putting my new Ministry of Sound CD on. Dancing around the house was pretty fun! I was actually surprised that none of the neighbours complained (we have complainy neighbours) as it was like 12.30 and we had the music really loud. (I love the CD so much... I've listened to it almost religiously since I got it a week or so ago. Highly recommend it - it'll make dance music lovers out of you all!) Sunday was spent tidying up and stuff, and more studying by Mark.

Got to watch House of Flying Daggers on Sunday night. I'd been wanting to see it or Hero for a while. Something about the artiness of them really appealed to me. Like, the elegance and choreography and overall cinematography or something. Haha, I'm not sure if I'm allowed to use the word cinematography because I know very little about film making... Oh well! Anyway, I got all excited about the idea of watching a film with subtitles only to find out that it had been dubbed in English! As the film played out though, I was actually thankful for it, and the dubbing was almost believable. Admittedly a few things about the film were a little confusing, but it was definitely a beautiful movie to watch, and the themes of the film were universal. Love, betrayal, sacrifice, friendship, the quest for happiness were all central to the story. The fight scenes were breathtaking, and not ridiculously overdone. If you haven't seen it, maybe give it a look sometime for something different.

Last night I had to go down to the tennis club and umpire two other teams playing against each other, because we didn't make the finals. Lord was it cold! The joy of sitting up in those high umpire chairs - always wanted to do that :) - was ruined by the icy cold, unrelenting wind. And of course I was wearing my jeans with the hole in the knee, so my right leg was particularly frozen by the end of it. When we'd finished our umpirely duties (and ate the supper the teams provided) we thankfully left and I drove Luke home. But guess what? As I pulled into his driveway and he was getting out of the car, he noticed that there was a lot of steam coming out of the bonnet of the car! I took the risk and decided to drive home - I could smell something burning which was a little scary - but I made it. After poking around the engine with Dad late last night we discover that there's a massive oil leak. So this morning I risked life and limb and drove it to this mechanic with mum driving in the unproblematic car behind me. Well maybe I exaggerated the risk to me, but you never know. The engine coulda blown up or something... :P

I'm starting to get serious about attempting to write something these holidays too. I've been brainstorming ideas, and putting a lot of effort into planning everything. I'm re-reading some of John Marsden's Tomorrow series for inspiration.

Lastly, I've got a group interview at Krispy Kreme this Saturday! It seems I have no trouble impressing potential employers with the on-paper me, but I somehow fall short in person. Hopefully this time it will be different!

Dale.

(Alcohol assisted) Confidence!

Ok, so I went out last night to a club in the city. This was despite being told to stay home with my younger brother by my parents who are away in Adelaide. They're celebrating their anniversary by taking a well-deserved break from their troublesome offspring (ie. me and Mark, but mainly me!). But it's not the fact that I was rebellious and went out that this is about, it's about what happened.

If you've been out somewhere with me you'll know that I'm not that great at picking up - it's only happened once! - because I get shy and nervous when I see someone I like. Well last night a few interesting things took place:

The person I picked up (a month or so ago) was there. This wouldn't have been so awkward if that night I met them I hadn't walked off, promised to return, and then didn't come back! So I spent a decent while hiding behind my friends and trying to make my face look different by doing strange facial expressions, in the hope they wouldn't recognise me! I managed to successfully avoid them for about an hour before I accidentally made eye contact and they started to walk towards me. A few thoughts went through my head - should I pretend not to remember? Should I pretend I'm in a relationship? Should I run away in case they're angry and are contemplating attacking me? (ok, not so likely I know, but even on a good day I'm not the most rational person!). I went with the second option, and it worked. They left me alone after about a minute or two of semi-awkward conversation. Phew! No bruises/slap marks/sore genitalia for Dale!

The few people I knew who were there, knew a lot of other people, and I found myself able to talk to these other people I didn't yet know with relative ease. Didn't feel uncomfortable or anything. I was completely content with myself and the way I was interacting with them, which is pretty much a first for me. Possibly made a few new friends! I was even able to approach and talk to someone that I liked the look of! We talked for quite a while and got along pretty well. The whole situation worked out a whole lot better than how I imagined it would play out. Apparently I'm likable after all. Oh, and I have nice teeth... :) Nothing happened between me and the person I liked the look of, but in the end I didn't really mind. I was just happy that I took the first step - even if it was aided by alcohol.

Finally, Dale is gradually building in confidence! Look out world. :P

Smooth Operater.

I'm no temporary tattoo...

Although I haven't known you for very long, I can tell you've come a long way recently. To give you more of the 'big picture' - don't mistake my issues (yep, I have big ones too!) as a negative reflection on yourself. Please don't let my idiocy stop the personal growth that you've started which will be so beneficial to you and your happiness in the future!

And you must know how important your friendship is to me, I mean, come on! :)

I hope to be good friends with you for as long as possible - I meant it when I said "No matter what you decide, I want you in my life", because you made mine incredible.

So get your ass into my life and stay there! Err, I mean... it would be great if your friendship could umm, not go anywhere for a while. :)

You're an inspiration to me, Adam. And you always will be.

Dalina.
Hoping to be more like a tongue piercing than a temporary tattoo.

I can't help but wonder...

I can’t help but wonder about things that might have been. Generally these things are out of my control and too hard to envisage, but it doesn’t stop me contemplating how things might have played out if a few circumstances were different. For example, someone that you meet, fall for, and become involved with – how different would the relationship be if you didn’t meet them when you did, but a year or two later? Would anything even come of it, or is it a combination of time and place and the stage of life that you’re in that dictates the successful formation of a relationship? On the other hand, could things work out for the better – would the extra year or two put the people involved in a better position to have a successful relationship? Obviously I’m talking about something that’s on my mind, and I’m not saying that I’d trade the time I had with this other person for anything, but it still gets me thinking!

The curiousity still runs strong within me... Oh my, Star Wars jokes... Someone throw rotten tomatoes at me!

Another thing that I’ve been pondering is if I’d gotten a part time job when I was 15/16, would I have my own car right now? I think the answer would be yes! I’m kind of annoyed about this. When I think about how much more freedom having my own car would bring me, and all the opportunities that I had to get a job, I get a little frustrated with myself. I also think that having a part time job would have helped me mature a bit more, give me more responsibility, and the sense of what it’s like to work hard for some hard earned cash. I’m not saying that my boundary umpiring money wasn’t hard earned – the amount of physical exertion involved was ridiculous – but it’s just not the same.

I don’t expect to get that job at Village Cinemas, although I didn’t do half bad, I don’t think I was quite quick-thinking enough. Nevertheless I’ll keep looking and hopefully get a job soon so I can learn those valuable lessons. (Wow, I’m sounding a bit like my dad; all preachy and whatnot... That’s a bit scary!) And then I can come and pick you up in my very own car and take you for a very short drive so I don’t use up all my left over money on petrol!

Dale.

Freedom & The Agenda

Hallelujah!! My last exam was on Wednesday morning - business law, 3 and a half painstakingly long hours - and I couldn't be happier that I don't have to deal with commerce anymore. I know a lot of you will hate me right now because you still have exams coming, but I'm sorry I can't help but shout from the rooftops how relieved I am to be done with it all. It hasn't been easy knowing that I've wasted an entire year of my life doing something that won't be of much use to me in the future, and accumulating additional HECS debt too! I really feel like a boring commerce-sized weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

So now I wait... My uncertain future is a little exciting. Having no control again is.. I dunno, invigorating! I hope to god I get into my Professional & Creative Writing course at Deakin next year, or some other similar one, but if I don't I know it won't be the end of the world. Maybe I should hide my last post in case some course inspector looks at my blog for some reason - it's pretty shocking...

Anyway, what to do for 4 whole months? I've been thinking about this since pretty much the minute my exam ended. Obviously getting a job is a main priority, even just as something to fill in the time! I'm pretty sure my friends will get sick of me within a few weeks, so I need something to keep me busy/entertained. Naturally I'll have a crack at continuing that book I started to write earlier this year, and also try to work on some short stories.

** daley newsflash - I have a group interview at Village Cinemas on Friday afternoon **

I've thought up a project for myself! I'm thinking it could be the start of a few mini projects that I try to complete. This one is called Project HASB. I'll need to purchase some equipment, and get into contact with some people, which may be a challenge in itself, but I'm really looking forward to it. Will be quite fun and rewarding to carry out... *Mr Burns' "excellent" fingers*
The thing is it's designed for other peoples' benefit. Yep, you heard me. Dale is being altruistic for once and not just thinking about himself!

Other holiday plans include a possible trip back to Blairgowrie (I still need to blog about the first one!), with the Highvale peeps. In no particular order these are most of them... Glenn, Sean, Ian, Alan, Luke R, Johnny, Jamie, & Chris. I'm still not sure about some other people who might come, but that's gonna be a big trip! Possibly 12 or 13 people... sheesh! Let me guarantee you, crazy times will ensue. :P

On the agenda with the Vermont peeps is the final poker night showdown extravaganza!! The winner will be crowned, and hopefully it will be I who emerges victorious (although based on my recent poker form I'm not too optimistic!). An astoundingly awesome afternoon is also planned with them - Lukey, Dinks, LJ, Matthew Douglas, & Mahoney - in which we're gonna go-kart until we can't anymore! Something like 50 laps on this mad course... *drools with anticipation* My competitive side will be out and ugly. I mean it... watch out people, I'll leave you eating my dust! :P

As for the Knox people, looks like a bunch might be heading to Famous on Saturday night. No matter where I end up celebrating my no exams & no commerce-ness, I'll be celebrating pretty hard.

Ok, now you're updated and can stop losing sleep wondering what I'm gonna do for the next third of a year. :)

Hope to see you soon.

Dale.

Is this any good?

I got to my economics exam about an hour early and had nothing to do... So I decided rather than study (I knew I was screwed regardless of whether I did or not) I would do something kinda enjoyable - write creatively! Yes, that is my definition of fun. And yes, that quite possibly makes me weird... :) Anyway, this is what I came up with in about 20 minutes - keep in mind I haven't written properly for quite I while - enjoy! Or don't enjoy... whatever!

I begged for the sun to emerge from behind the clouds and bathe the grassy lawn where I sat with warmth. In the sun's absense the wind always seemed to become fiercer and more chilling. The contrast between the two states - warmth and coldness - was shocking but also rewarding. No matter how briefly the sun broke through the clouds, the relief and the delightful feeling made putting up with the conditions worthwhile.
People were scattered about the grassy area outside Caufield Racecourse rather sparsely, as it was still a good 45 minutes before 2.30pm when the exams commenced. Rather than studying most people appeared to be just sitting around, sprawled out on the grass. Some were chatting with their friends, whilst others who were by themselves were drinking a coffee or snacking on some food. Birds were chirping away in trees that looked about 500 years old, the true inhabitants of this area, allowing us humans to temporarily occupy their land.
Two birds darted past me to my right - a much smaller bird was relentlessly harrassing a big black raven, and getting the upper hand. I don't know what the raven did to deserve being tormented, but it was an inspiring sight to see - the little guy fearlessly taking it out on his much larger adversary, ignoring the risks to himself for the sake of protecting what was most important to him.
The clouds had given the sun a break, because the now more numerous grass-loungers were enjoying an extended period of uninterrupted sunlight to bask in. As 2:30 loomed, a more nervous chit-chat had developed, and a slightly anxious energy was filling the air. I wasn't phased. The outcome of this exam wouldn't count for anything. The only reason I was here was because of the fact that I hate not doing well and achieving good results. It's in my nature to try.
I look up and see some girl I don't recognise waving at me. It took me a little while to realise she was actually waving at me and not just in my general direction. I tentatively wave back, feeling foolish. I look back down at my note book to spare any further awkwardness.
The sun and wind began working in tandem, so I felt cold and warm at the same time. It was kind of a reflection of how I was feeling about the task at hand. Happy for what it symbolised, but sad for my most likely lacklustre performance.
Looking around again, I start to recognise a few familiar faces, although the girl who had waved at me was now gone. I got a few nods and smiles of recognition from some of the people in my tutorial as they walked past, and I acknowledged them similarly. The majority of people were now clustered around the entrance to the exam venue. I could see a few people bustling around anxiously, asking last minute questions of their friends, and double checking that their pens hadn't mysteriously disappeared in the last ten seconds.
I took a final swig from my water bottle, got to my feet, and went over to join them.

Not very action packed I know, and it's not exactly the subject on which I want to write, but I figure it was a good test of my writing abilities. And hey, that's pretty much unedited and written in 20 minutes... Imagine if I actually put some thought into it! :)

Dale.

Adjustments! You better like em....

I don't know how closely you've been paying attention to The Daley News but lately you might have noticed that there have been some changes to the little additional bits that are sometimes more interesting that my actual blog posts. Wow.. long sentence!

Anyway, I really didn't give you a chance to say goodbye to the sections Word of the Day (which I'm sure your vocabularies all benefitted from immensely :P), Stupidest Thing I've Done Lately (I've decided to limit my public humiliation for now), and (the sometimes not so) Amusing Junk Mail, but I figure none of you will be devastated by the loss of these things. And don't pretend to be.. I'm not that stupid anymore!

In their place I've decided to keep people up to date on stuff I've been doing or the things that have been happening in my life, that aren't quite post-worthy on their own. And for some comedy value I've introduced Not So Great Pick Up Lines! After a few weeks maybe people can vote on their favourite.

Oh and if anyone tries one of them out you HAVE TO let me know how it goes. I'll definitely mention it on here if you do. :)

Dale.

Daley News Star - Luke T

Yes, I have a lot of friends called Luke!

The first thing I think of when I think of Luke T is energy and enthusiasm. I have no idea where he gets it from, but every time I see him he’s always pumped up about something, even when there’s nothing really to get excited about. Luke was originally a friend of my friends that I only started to get to know towards the end of year 11. He’s one of those people who make an immediate impression on you. He always finds something to laugh about and doesn’t exclude anyone – he’ll make an effort to make sure that he talks to everyone in the group.

Luke is an insanely good middle to long distance runner. He goes to a lot of cross country and athletics events and always manages to do extremely well. I think he came top 20 in some national cross country event earlier this year! He also umpires during the footy season, and I’m sure he does a hell of a lot better job than I do.


When Luke’s around things are pretty much guaranteed to be interesting, because you never know what he’ll say or do next. For example, if we’re going somewhere and need two cars he might spontaneously decide to climb out of one and jump into the other if we’re stopped at traffic lights, even when they’re about to change! He tried to convince me to do it but I was only brave enough to go from the backseat to the front seat of the same car. :)

Yesterday in a myspace comment he kindly reminded me that my name was Dale, you know, in case I’d forgotten.

In addition to all the above characteristics Luke’s also a really genuine guy.

“Helloo, my name is Mr. Burns – I believe you have a package for me.”

Daley News Star - Luke R!

The first time I met Luke was on orientation day for Year 7 at Highvale SC (back in the days when I may or may not have briefly sported a comb-over). He was one of the only people who hadn’t come from my primary school who I’d made an effort to speak to. I remember that he was the only one who had come from his primary school, which must have been a bit intimidating for him. Nevertheless, in Year 12 he became school captain, so he obviously overcame that hurdle!

Around about the start of Year 8, I changed friendship circles and started hanging out with the same group of people he did. We had a few classes together, caught the same bus to school, and went to movies and parties with our group of friends, so we got to know each other reasonably well. I definitely considered him a good friend by that stage.

The thing with Luke is he’s always been a kind of benchmark for me to compare how I was going at school. No matter how hard I tried, he’d always just beat in a test or exam, or even a set of tennis, and that would perpetually piss me off (I have a teeny weeny competitive streak) but make me work harder at improving myself at the same time. And although I left Highvale for my last three years of high school, the moment I found out my ENTER score I was itching to know what he got. Not surprisingly he beat me, (he got 94.95, and I got 94.90 – Argh! So close!) but I think it was an appropriate outcome. And of course being his friend I was happy for him for doing so well...

At the end of Year 12 I decided to go to schoolies with my Highvale friends, Luke included. I think Luke made it his personal mission to get me completely smashed at least three times (because apparently I never got drunk enough!). I can’t remember if he was successful… maybe that means he was. :P Anyway, during that week Luke and I spent a few drunken nights on the foreshore at Lorne trying to win over this group of three girls (thankfully we liked different ones!). I can’t remember the name of the girl I liked now, only that she looked like a combination of Ashlee Simpson and Paris Hilton. It was all a lot of fun, despite not being very successful. :)

This year, we ended up getting into the same university, and several mornings a week he drives me there. Thank you Luke! I hate buses... I’m glad we ended up at the same uni, because we’ve gotten pretty close again. He invited me to play seniors competition tennis on Monday nights for his team this year too, which has been mostly good fun. We finally won our first doubles set together the other week. Go us!

Luke always seems so relaxed, yet in control at the same time. Anyone will tell you he’s very easy to be around. I’m really glad I’ve been able to have him as a friend for all this time. I hope next year when I move to a different uni things don’t change too much.

I’ll leave you with a question he asked me recently when driving to uni one day – “Why are some traffic lights skinny (cut off at the sides) and others aren’t? Who decides these things?” Good questions Luke, good questions. :)

If you have anything else (preferably nice) to say about Luke, say it now or forever hold your peace! I think that’s how it goes…

When was the last time you were in the news?

Sorry for not blogging for a while. My mind has been elsewhere lately. Although I've almost got my thoughts in order - just have a few more questions to answer and a few more answers to deal with - so it shouldn't be long before I get back into the swing of things!

Also, I've had a few ideas about future posts. Inspired by something someone wrote about me, I'm thinking I may do a series of posts dedicated to the people closest to me, and those who have made an impression on me. While this may partially be an attempt to lure more people into the clutches of my blog ("will he write about me next??"), I think it's also important that I do do it; show some appreciation for the people in my life.

I don't have a set list of who I will and won't write about - although if you've commented before I may do one on however much I know about you - and I won't write anything overly revealing or embarrassing if anyone's worried about that. Who knows, this idea may never even come to fruition! *impressed at my own use of 'fruition' in a sentence* :)

So stay tuned - next time you come back here you may be propelled to stardom by The Daley News! :P

Daley Vitamin Intake.

Looking Back... Memories from my 18th.

I only have a few vivid memories of my 18th birthday, although that's probably because I didn't have a party; I opted for money instead, which I think now was a mistake, but oh well! I have three memories in particular that are really special to me. And here they are!

To set the scene, I had just gotten back from a 3-day school trip to the AIS for PE about day or so before my actual birthday, and I was going out with Hayley at the time (had been seeing her for about 6 months by that stage). Anyway, the day of my birthday I had to go to school because I had a freaking accounting SAC to do!! Wasn't very happy about this, but it was out of my control. Although my accounting teacher did love me (he was my economics teacher too), and I reckon I could possibly have done something about it if I'd had a word in his ear, but decided that it wasn't worth it. From memory I think I did well on the SAC.. but I'm not entirely sure. But that's not important so it doesn't matter!


At the end of the day, I walked home from school, came home and chucked my bag down and took my shoes off. Mum asked how my day was and then suspiciously kept hinting that I go up to my room - "Go and... open your window to let some fresh air in Dale" or "Go and... hang up your blazer Dale". So I walked up the stairs slowly, wondering what the hell she was on (she has been known to light incense candles and drink herbal teas), but then my mind went elsewhere. Until I walked into my room! Stacks of blue and white helium balloons practically covered my entire roof, which made me go "woah...". And then, all of a sudden, my wardrobe burst open and Hayley sprang out at me, which made me go "WOAH!!". I was very surprised (and a tiny bit scared - issues with things jumping out of places at me lol) and it took me a while to get my breath and truly realise what was going on. I remember hugging and kissing her after a little and I think Mark & Mum were watching the whole thing smiling... well Mum was probably smiling, Mark may have vomitted once or twice. The balloons stayed in my room (even after they lost their floating abilities) for about two weeks. Anyway, Hayley gave me multiple presents, including a cool wallet that I still use today, and spent the rest of the afternoon with me (I think we went for a walk at some stage too). I think that this was such a special moment to me because someone really went out of their way to surprise me, and make me feel really loved. It was such a grand gesture in terms of what else I'd experienced from someone outside my family. And it made me realise how lucky I was that someone cared about me that much, and how wonderful life can be when you're surrounded by those who love you.

Another special memory was my dad's speech at the big family gathering we had in honour of my birthday (also at our house). It was really moving, because I always knew that he loved and thought highly of me, but to hear him say it out loud in front of the majority of my relatives was really touching. I got a bit emotional and hugged him while he was still talking... :)

The last one happened on the day after my birthday in Indonesian class at school. I got to class a little late, only to find that Bu (Mrs) Cook was the only one in the room. I was wondering where everyone else could have been (although there were only about 8 people in our class) when the door opened and they all walked in, singing happy birthday (in english :P). Tamara walked in last of all, and she was holding a birthday cake that she'd made herself at home. This also really made me feel great.. it wasn't often that I was baked for by people from school! It was just so unexpected (nothing like that had really happened on anyone else's birthday in my other classes) and yeah. I think I was smiling (with cake in my teeth) for the rest of the day. Positively beaming!

So thats it. I hope I have more wonderful surprises like those in the future. And that you too have had special moments like those!

Dale.

My Firsts

The ban is over!

I haven't posted lately because I had been banned from the internet by mum and dad. It came about because I got home a bit later than they would have liked one night. So for a week I wasn't allowed access to the internet at home (or have use of the car). Admittedly, I snuck on a few times - hope mum doesn't read this! - and also I went on at uni, so I wasn't completely cold turkey but it was still a little hard nonetheless! Some of you might be thinking "But he's 19.. shouldn't he just tell his parents to get 'stuffed'?" Well, I'm still not an adult in their eyes, and maybe not even a young adult. I'm hoping they'll realise that I am soon. Maybe when I get a proper job. Hopefully...

The past few days have produced a few firsts for me:

• I had my first ever Boost juice on Friday afternoon! "Passion Mango" I think it was called. I don't know why it's taken me so long to get one, it was pretty damn tasty! I even kept the cool green cup in my room for a day to commemorate my first Boost purchase. Initially my room started to smell like tropical fruits which was nice, but then I think it kinda went bad because my room began to smell like a less desirable odour... So I threw it out. Thanks to Kiel for encouraging the inaugural Boost Juice buy (was with him at Knox at the time), I shall be returning there again soon. Need to figure out what my favourite flavour is! I think Passion Mango will be hard to beat though. *drools all over keyboard*

• On that same journey to Knox - I say journey because I walked there, as it was a really beautiful day and I was feeling strangely energetic - I bought one of those colourful rubber Livestrong wristband thingemo's. I'd always wanted one because my non-watch wrist has always looked a bit naked. Anyway, I had seen a lot of clothes that I really liked but decided to save what little money I have, when at one of the service counters I happened upon the wristband. Seeing that it was pink momentarily made me hesitant to buy it, but seeing that it was in support of breast cancer awareness dashed my reservations. Plus I thought it'd be cool to be a bit "metro" for once. :) Pretty much ever since I got it I've been wearing it. I only take it off when I have to shower or go to bed.. It's so cool! Plus I'm kind of promoting a good cause. Next time you see me no doubt you'll see the wristband. Something for you to look forward to! :P

• My last first happened last night (Sunday night). I went and saw Panic! at the disco play live at The Palace in St Kilda. This is a first for a number of reasons; one, I'd never been inside The Palace; two, I'd never seen Panic play live; three, I'd never seen any well-known band play live in concert! There were five of us who went - Sean who drove, Jamie, Ian, Luke, and me - and we didn't have too much trouble finding it (I know my way around St Kilda pretty well now, but don't read anything into that!). We printed off directions from whereis.com just in case, but they didn't make sense (left from punt rd onto commercial road for 26m, then left back onto punt rd??) so I threw caution to the wind and told Sean to go the way that I thought was right.. and it was for once! Anyway, it was freezing when we got there, and the line was massive, so we just camped out in the car and waited until the line got a lot smaller - we weren't gonna risk turning to ice and missing the concert! :P Eventually we ventured out into Antarctica and braved the conditions while waiting in line. We got into The Palace at about 8.50, and Something with Numbers was just finishing off. It was already pretty packed in the main room considering they were only a support act. Kisschasey played for about half an hour from 9.30 (including some new songs from an album that they're currently putting together!). The fact that they were new was kinda more exciting than the fact that I was getting to hear them... I'm not a giant Kisschasey fan (I'm probably spelling their name wrong too which would give that away). Panic came out at 10.45, played most of the songs from the album, did a really good job of them, I jumped around a little, sang a lot, got pushed around a bit, didn't lose a shoe, and had an ok time on the whole. I'm not sure if concerts are my thing. Guess I'll need to go to another one to find out!

So those are my firsts! And now I'm going for a run. Mondays are my day off from uni so I've pretty much been slacking off all day.. need to do something to wake up and release any pent up frustrations/emotions or whatever. Running is therapeutic! Wonder if I'll get beeped by any cars today... :)

Dale.

Yesterday!

Yesterday, Tuesday, was a good day. It was one of those days after which you go... 'I really needed a day like that'. I mean, nothing incredibly special happened, but it was just a really nice day on the whole.

A good place to start would be Monday night.. Not technically part of yesterday, but meh! I play tennis on Monday nights for Wantirna tennis club (think I've mentioned it before), and this time we were playing against Bayswater North. Luke picked me up and drove us there - I'm no stranger to his car since he gives me lifts to uni several days a week, thanks Luke - but we had a bit of trouble finding it. The lights were out and it was really dark, and when we pulled into what looked like the carpark, got out and walked around, became very confused and a little scared (the place looked like some kind of abandoned hunting lodge that you see in all those "psycho killer on the loose" type movies) we decided we must have been in the wrong place. But we weren't! It was just on the other side of the ominious looking buildings, which we figured out when another car pulled up (thankfully no axe-wielding murderer inside) and we asked them where the hell the tennis courts were.
Anyway, we eventually got round to playing us some tennis - oh Vanessa got lost too, so we're not geographically challenged if that's what you were thinking! - but we were down a player so only got to play two sets each instead of three. I won both my sets and played a lot better than I had for a long time. Overall we lost though, but only because of the three sets we had to forfeit.

Ok, Tuesday morning, first day back at uni after the midsemester break, so I had to get up at 8am. This was a little bit of a struggle. But I did it, showered, dressed, ate and had my brain functioning within the hour. Luke came at 9.30ish and drove me to uni. Got to uni at about 10:01 and had an hour to waste until my first lecture at 11.00, so I met up with Praveen in the science library. Caught up with what he'd been doing, "did you watch the grand final?" etc, etc, and then somehow we decided to go to Maccas and get something to eat. (This involved me skipping my lecture but that wasn't such a hard choice to make. After all it was only accounting, and I'm not even doing this course next year!!)
Sitting in the drive-thru McFlurrys were decided upon - he had Oreo I had m&m - and we went back to uni and ate them as we walked around in the freaking awesome weather that's decided to arrive all of a sudden. Anyway, he went off to play indoor cricket at about 12.30, and I went and found a computer lab. That was when I did yesterday's blog, and left a myspace comment here and there. I was supposed to have a lecture at 1:00 but got carried away with my blogging and whatnot (and I'm really not that motivated by Business & Economic Statistics either) so I kinda skipped that too. At 2:00 I had a tutorial test in economics. Yes.. I went to a class yesterday. :P The test went ok I think, it was the last one for the semester thank God. I'm passing all my subjects still, but if I could've fast forwarded in time from highschool me and seen that in the future I'd be skipping a lot of classes like this, I think I'd be pretty damn shocked. I was a bit of a goody-goody back then. I guess now I'm... what? A rebel? :)

After my tutorial test I merrily headed off on my way home. But on the way I stopped off at Vermont South shopping centre to drop my resume in at Blockbuster. Still looking for a job! Anyway, as I was about to go in I heard someone running up behind me, so I turned around and got into that karate kid stance in case it was an attacker (not really) and saw that it was Jamie H from my primary school and first high school! He and Jonny were at Subway eating footlongs - which I'm still yet to do *creates list of things to achieve* - so I went and sat with them for about half an hour. I hadn't seen either of them for quite a while (maybe not since my trip away to Blairgowrie with them during the break between semesters), but it didn't seem like that at all. We got on heaps good. Lol, yep, there goes any credibility this post had! "heaps good"... I mean come on Dale! Anyway, it was good to see them again, and they mentioned catching up on the weekend at some stage, so that put me in a good mood.

Next, I bussed it to Knox for more resume handing out and some gymming. But before I could do any of that, I ran into Simon from my second high school just outside Coles. Hadn't seen him for a long time either, so it was interesting catching up on what he'd been up to. We had indo together, and were on the school tennis team together, so we had been pretty close. He also mentioned catching up on the weekend with some other people from school... I could be in for a busy few days! So I went to the gym, without a sweat towel (since I came straight from uni) so I was walking around the gym trying to act as if I wasn't doing anything wrong, but that probably meant that I was looking more suspicious than I normally would have been, cos I can't act at all when I'm doing something I shouldn't be. Several sore muscles later I went and put a resume in at EB games, and tried at Virgin Megastore and Angus & Robertson (the book shop) where they said to apply online. Going to hand resumes in slighty sweaty, walking painfully, and a little red in the face may not have been the smartest thing I've done. But at least I did it. :)

That night at home Dad, Mum, Mark and I had a family game of Buzz, the quiz show game with the buzzers on playstation 2. And I won!!! Woo! All thanks to me recognising that Alice Deejay "better off alone" song before anyone else did. I hadn't won for AGES so I was pretty rapt. I admit that there was a small victory dance involved, but hey, why not! The night ended on a great note too, with a phone call from the person I've been seeing for the past few weeks now. I speak to them most days, and I always look forward to our conversations... they can go anywhere, no matter where we start at or what direction I think they'll go. Yep, this boyo is in serious like. Hopped into bed, watched an episode of the simpsons, and then slowly drifted off to sleep. Feeling content about how the day had panned out.

Dale.

Big Moments In Life

Just a thought or two... or three...

I can't say there have been that many big moments in my life. By big I guess I mean dramatic or life changing - moments that influence the way that a person turns out, or shape people's ideals and the foundations of what they value. Sure there have been events that have altered my perspective on things, but nothing really major yet. Well nothing that stands out at least right now. Although looking back in a decade or so I may think differently about it.

I know that in real life there isn't any dramatic background music or confronting cinematography to accompany such moments as there are on tv or in movies, but I think that a big moment in life should feel as if there were. That's what being alive is all about. Emotions and feelings and all that jazz. Isn't it?

I guess meeting people for the first time who you eventually become close to could classify as a big moment, in that they have a significant impact on your life and how you live it. In which case I have had a few big moments. For friends and those who become more than friends. I've been really lucky that I've been able to meet such genuine, good people. My life is full of them, and sometimes I guess I don't appreciate it (and them!).

Dale
Waiting for a big moment & Starting to appreciate people more.

The Bliss of Forgiveness

Me = Idiot. That's no secret. And as an idiot I often do idiotic things (yes, shocking isn't it?). Although at times there are lulls in the level of my idiocy, it's always there - I won't fail to spoil a moment, ruin a night, hurt myself or hurt someone else (physically and emotionally), embarrass myself and friends with some social faux pas... and the list goes on.

Hurting someone really close to you is, I think, one of the most excruciating pains of all. That said I've never been shot or stabbed, but I imagine it would come close. It numbs me, incapacitates me so that I'm incapable of doing anything except feeling bad and wishing that they would hurry up and invent time machines already (singing the Cyndi Lauper song doesn't expedite the process I have discovered).

I think we all have moments in which we do something and then can't explain what the hell we were thinking at the time. I do at least. I hate these moments, because I like to think of myself as a rational and sensible person. While these don't happen very often, they really scare me. I fear the consequences of my actions could lead to, well, the things in my life that are of most importance to me being whisked away. But I think I've finally started to grow up enough that I will be able to stop another from happening from now on. I'll take my wits with me wherever I go and be prepared to handle any situation the best way possible, without going into super mega idiot mode.

I'm saying this because, quite obviously, one of those moments happened last night. Needless to say I got really down on myself afterwards, and started agonising over what might happen as a result. I love myself most of the time, but I could only say the opposite of that after the idiotic thing I did. I was pretty much certain that I was going to lose one of the most important people in my life, and it was killing me - the idea of not having them with me anymore was a concept that I didn't even want to think about having to try to adjust to. So, although we sat down and talked most of it through, I lost a lot of sleep thinking about what I'd done, and how in the world I'd managed to do it.

Thankfully, this person was understanding and has largely forgiven me for what I did. Man did it feel good to talk to them today and have things pretty much go back to normal! I was so relieved, and realised all the more how lucky I am and how good I have it at the moment. Although I'll have to put up with being physically abused again (:P), it's more than worth it. Trust me. I'd almost say that I'd do anything for this person, and I want them to know that.

- Idiot.

Decisions, Decisions

For those of you who don't know, I've been doing a lot of serious thinking about what I'm going to do next year. Commerce is boring me to death, I think I want to write, my parents say I should do a double degree and keep some Commerce, I've considered taking time off from uni to just work and gain some perpective, and I've become very confused lately.

Anyway, I found my Grade 6 journal, and this is the very first entry in it (I won't alter the spelling mistakes for accuracy's sake!)

Mr Crossett,

I've been writing lots of stories lately but I don't really want to share any of them with the grade. They're only short twenty-twenty five page stories though, but they're about our age group, our as in the grades'. Most of them are about school and things that happen to me. I must admitt my favourite stories are adventure ones. Last year I entered a story in one of the story writing compititions but I didn't get any reply, I guess it wasn't good enough. I really enjoy reading too, especially John Marsden books. I get lots of ideas from John Marsden and my other favourite author Franklin. W. Dixon, auther of the Hardy Boys books. Do you have a favourite author? Miss Hunter's a bit over the top with Emily Rodda and Enid Blighton.

Bye For Now

Dale

And this is what the Christmas card that my Year 12 English teacher Mrs. Turner gave me on the last day of school said:

Dear Dale,

You are a tremendously gifter writer and I truly hope you get to showcase your talents in the future. Wishing you luck on your coming exams would be doing you a great disservice, but I certainly wish you every success for whatever career path you choose to follow.
Thank you for being such a committed and conscientious student and for bringing such insight to every class.

All the best in 2006 and beyond.
From, Mrs. T.

These two things are part of what I'm going to base my decision on for what I do next year. I know people don't comment on here, but if ANY of you have any thoughts I'd like to hear them.

Thank you,

Confused.

Jobs & Loathing

The job hunt begins today! I will be earning money again, and my bank balance will stop plummeting down to hell because of my gym membership, phone credit, stupid excess internet fees and the like! That's assuming I get a job sometime soon. But.. I will won't I? Most of you would hire me as an employee wouldn't you? I mean, I'm loyal, trustworthy, friendly, responsible, punctual and caring aren't I? :P Well spread the good word about me to everyone. There's something in it for all of you too - the more money I have, the better presents I can buy for your birthday, the more drinks I can shout you when we're out somewhere, etc etc - so helping me is really helping yourself out! What are you waiting for??

* * * *

Having just eaten lunch, I underwent one of my usual struggles.. I encountered a rebellious food packet. Now I know that it sounds silly, but hear me out, you may well have experienced a similar ordeal. For many a-year now I've had the one mortal enemy, nemesis if you like, that has filled my life with frustration and pure hatred. This nemesis comes in many forms, shapes and sizes, but always manages to torment me at meal times: food packaging. On countless occasions I have been denied easy access to the delicious contents of stubborn plastic containers, casings or packets, and I have had enough! Too many times have menacing donut containers broken when I've had to pry them open with all my might to defeat their malicious resistance to me! Too many times have cereal packets torn improperly leading to half the cereal spilling on the floor or all over me! Too many times have stupid plastic outer cases broken when I've been struggling to fit the fiddly inner cases back inside them! To all the food packages out there... you have made a big mistake in pissing this perpetually hungry person off. Oh yes, you've made a big mistake in making an enemy of the likes of me, retched food packets. Mark my words! I shall get the better of you and make you understand the unparalleled frustration of such inconveniences!

Fruitless venting over.

Dale.

A Quickie.. or 8!

Another semi-serious post (they're the only ones I feel like doing at the moment :S), sorry to people who want entertainment!

First, I'm happy about something - I've started to build a bridge over a gaping crevace that had developed between me and this other person. We're talking again, and getting along again, and I couldn't be happier about it. If I'm stupid enough to let the crevace start to open up once more, for God's sake stop me JM!

Second, I've made a decision not to do something that I'd considered doing for a while. I realise that I can live with it for now, it's not that much of a burden (it's not a backwards step I promise). This decision has also eased my mind, and I should be a little less "serious posty" as a result! Yay for everyone!

Third, made a new friend, also happy about this as it means I'm kind of branching out into another part of the world. This person shall be referred to as Nicey of Nicetown.. because they're nice. :)

Fourth, my existing friends, I haven't forgotten about you, I've just been busy and want to see you all again really really soon to see what you've been up to. Maybe if you're at Famous tonight I might get a chance. Although I don't have a very loud voice so I might have to communicate through charades of interpretive dance... should be fun either way!

Fifth, thanks for being patient while I've gone all introspective.

Sixth, Rikishi is the coolest, and I hope I'm forgiven for calling you Rikishi. :)

Seventh, plan to get a haircut today. Also plan to get blonde tips in it. The mini-poll as to whether I should dye it darker resulted in a big fat no, so I figure I'll go the other way.

Eighth, until my next post (or until I see you next) goodbye!

Dale.

The Lies

I needed to do this post before I could do any others. I'll still try to do Famous as a big fancy all the bells and whistles type job, but my memory of it is not so fresh now (and wasn't so fresh on Sunday morning to be honest!).

I lie a lot. Mostly to my parents. And the majority of the time I feel bad about it. I can try to justify it by claiming that what I'm doing isn't really harmful or dangerous to me, but lying in itself is dangerous. It has the potential to ruin relationships because of feelings of mistrust and betrayal. People would wonder whether I've been honest with them about anything that I've ever said.

Unfortunately I also lie to my friends. Well, not so much lie as constantly hide the truth or omit/fabricate certain details. I hate that I do, but I just get scared sometimes that people won't understand.

I guess that's the main reason I do do it; fear. But fear of what I'm not exactly sure. Fear of rejection? Fear of disapproval? Fear of... loss? I guess those three are all factors that influence my lying ways. I don't want things to change too much, because I haven't changed.. I'm still me. The same person I always have been. And nothing I say should change how I am perceived as a person.

I'm not sure how this post is going to be interpretted, but I guess that's the point. I plan to stop lying soon - to myself and to everyone else - so I guess in time this will all make sense.

I'm sorry if I've lied to you, or hidden the truth from you, and I'm not going to make excuses. I did it because it was easier for me, and because I'm a big whuss sometimes.

So until I see you next, don't lie. It's very, very bad and unhealthy.

Dale.

Jotter Entry 9

Friday night/Saturday morning,

I saw them tonight! We talked, joked and got along well on the whole. The semi-betrayal wasn’t brought up, but I could tell that it was still lingering in both our minds. Ran into them, and some other people from school (Knox), before I went to see the Da Vinci Code movie. They were meeting some people at the Irish – I was tempted to go join them after the movie, but it was already pretty late (like 1.15). Coincidentally, as I walked past the Irish on my way to the car, I ran into people from my old school (Highvale), my friends from there in fact, who I still see every now and then. All I got to do with them was exchange pleasantries, before I had to run off and catch up with my movie friends who were parked near me, and who I hadn’t said goodbye to properly. They were Paul, Steve, Yiu Chung, Praveen, Mike and Simo. The other Knox friends at the Irish were Jamie, Luke, Jase and possibly Shane and Julz. Whilst the Highvale people at the Irish were Jonny, Jamie, Sean, Ian, Glenn, Luke, Aaron and Anthony. Names, names, names! Collectively they mean nothing to anyone but me. The movie was always going to struggle to beat the book in my opinion. There’s no way to effectively and efficiently cram 400 pages into 3 hours of cinema, when the 400 pages equates to at least 50 hours of imaginational viewing and contemplation. More on that and more about tonight tomorrow!

Didn’t end up writing any more about that night, or that situation, but things went back to normal, so it’s all good!

Stay tuned for “Famous”.

Dale.

Jotter Entry 6, 7 & 8

This has skipped ahead a lot from Jotter 3, but I will go back to what's inbetween, just not right now.

This sucks,

I just realised that I betrayed someone close to me, and told that person that I was responsible. I didn't do it intentionally, I was just trying to fix a situation. But by doing so I revealed something to someone else that caused the friction between them and my close friend. Something that basically only I knew. The thing is it's not like me to interfere or become involved in this type of situation. So this is kind of new and hence a little more difficult for me to cope with. I'm praying that I will be forgiven, because I love the person whom I upset. If they became too disappointed in me to maintain our relationship I'd be really hurt...

* * * *

This still sucks, but less so.

I'm still pondering the discussion last night, and still wondering about the ramifications. Haven't heard from them today, haven't tried to contact them either though, but I thought about it. As the forefront of my mind right now is my still unfinished accounting assignment - I'm not sure if I'm gonna get it done by tomorrow afternoon or not. I guess I'm temporarily replacing one worry with another (probably less important) one. Regardless, I'm going to work super-hard on it tomorrow. I don't want to be doing it tomorrow night, had enough of assignments (and probably uni as a whole) this semester. A break would be nice, like for a few months, but I don't know if I could motivate myself to come back to this. Oh well...

* * * *

Last time I wrote it was Monday night/Tuesday morning, now it's Thursday night/Friday morning. I finished the assignment (just) on Tuesday afternoon. Felt so awesome handing it in - no more assignments for a while! Woot! :) STILL haven't talked to the person whom I love - to some extent - which is saddening, but I haven't given up hope...

Last in this series (number 9) to come next time.

Dale.

A bit o' everything!

(Decided to put my "Looking Back..." on hold for now. Too much reminiscing can be dangerous!)

Now, you wouldn't tell from looking at me, but it's no secret to most people who know me that I LOVE food (remember the krispy kreme binge?). As we speak, I'm snacking on marshmellows and there are not one, but two pies cooking in the oven for my lunch! It's a bit crazy... but it's not like I'm that unhealthy, and I run a lot and stuff, so it kind of balances out I guess (don't argue with my logic!).

I wouldn't trade this metabolism for anything! Except for maybe a room full of lollies... :)

I highly doubt anyone is thinking, "why is Dale home from uni already when he's supposed to be there until 2.00?" but if you are you clearly pay more attention to my life than I give you credit for, and here's the answer to your question!
My statistics tute was in the computer lab again this week, and I was a bit hesitant to enter the room - based on my last experience with the evil, intimidating computers that harrassed me with their sinister beeping ('Quest for Cho') - but thankfully the computers behaved and I was able to not fully understand the work in peace.
Anyway, the tute finished half an hour early (at 11.30) and I decided I really didn't want to wait around until 1.00 for my only other lecture for the day, so I left! The one thing that made me a little reluctant to skip it though was the thought of leaving my friend Laura to endure the lecture alone. But I realised she might not have even been there so I got over it and came home. Hmm.. it's just about 1.00 now.. I wonder if she's sitting there all mopey, expectantly looking at the door waiting for me to walk through.. probably not. Well, I hope not...

Nooo, 10 minutes until my pies are ready and I have so much more to say still! I guess I could come back to this after devouring my lunch (and watching an episode of Will & Grace I haven't seen before!). Yeah, thats what I'll do!

Half an hour and two meat pies later...

Mmm, those were good pies.. *pats belly*

Now for two random things that have gotten my attention lately:

1. As I was walking toward the Matheson library at uni earlier this week I came across a bunch of contruction workers (they're always around trying to stop the Menzies building from falling over and crushing everything). Now, there was nothing out of the ordinary about most of them, but one of them sparked my interest. No.. I don't have a thing for construction workers if that's what you're thinking. He was standing there, hammer in one hand, and blue helium balloon in the other! I tried to think of a possible reason for why he'd be holding a balloon, but couldn't come up with any! None of his construction worker friends had any, and the balloon didn't seem to be serving any purpose, other than making his appearance somewhat comical. It was quite a funny sight, because he was acting as if it was a natural thing for a construction person to do - hold a blue helium balloon for no apparent reason!
2. As I was waiting to turn right at a set of traffic lights on the way back from uni today, I looked in my rear view mirror at the person in the car behind me, and he was doing something quite odd. He was alone in the car, wearing sunglasses, and... taking pictures of himself with a digital camera! Every few seconds he'd do a pose for the camera, then excitedly check to see what it looked like. He did this numerous times, and it too was pretty funny to watch! Thankfully he was too occupied by his camera to see me laughing at him!

A few more quick points... My story that I started and (not surprisingly) didn't follow through with, is getting the axe. I can't see myself enjoying writing it anymore, my head's in a different place. So all those people who were getting excited about being in it - I'm sorry but you'll have to wait a bit longer to taste second-hand fame. :P Nevertheless I have been inspired lately to write something else. As soon as I get my thoughts together I'll get it underway, and maybe send a few drafts to people for their thoughts!

I'm getting serious about finding a proper job now. I want financial independance! Since umpiring has finished I'm left without a source of income besides pocket money which doesn't amount to much at all. So my resumes will be everywhere soon.

Went to Intencity lately, and realised that my arcade gaming abilities are not what they used to be. I'm looking for people to go practice with so that next time I encounter a certain person in a similar arcade facility, I can show them once and for all who's boss!

Also went somewhere new lately. It was exciting, well exciting for the 5 minutes that I was there!

That's it, I'll let you leave my world for now. But please don't be afraid to come back and visit again soon!

Dale.